Against the Myth of Unconditional Love

“Unconditional love.” A phrase for the weak. A drug for those who cannot face the cruelty of life. A religious hallucination that survival and devotion can be had without price.

But really somewhere underneath we know better. Love is hunger, need, exchange, tension. It has weight. It demands. It binds through reciprocity.

“you are loved no matter what” is a lie. And so we raise our children in an opium dream, to dull their instincts, to weaken their sense of reality. They grow into adults bloated with entitlement, expecting everything, giving nothing, yet still suffering because they were promised to be loved unconditionally, a promise never to come true. There is no such thing as unconditional love.

But all will suffer under this Illusion. The ones who learned that love must be earned, they carry the responsibility, effort, loyalty and if not careful they are devoured by those who were never taught to reciprocate.

The priests of therapy call it a trauma. They weep for the child who learned early that love is conditional. But really the opposite is true: this is strength. This is preparation for life and the true trauma is the infestation of parasites raised on the lie. Adults who believe they are owed devotion simply for existing. Adults who cannot give, only take.

Unconditional love is decadence. Conditional love is discipline. Only discipline creates form, endurance, greatness.

So let us speak without masks:
Love is not unconditional. It is struggle, reciprocity, creation. But above all true love is discipline.